Log 5 - Public Confession: Общественное Признание

Confessions - Log 5


I have done it. The men in black are coming for me. And I will be in for a long prison sentence.


In case you haven't heard the news yet, althought it will surely be in the morning paper, I have confessed to my crimes of murdering two political figures.
Yesterday, on August 12th, I publicly confessed to the public of my crimes. My murders.


My wife convinced me that what I had done was morally wrong . . . when she found out about my secret identity.


I had been Joseph Leman to her throughout our entire marriage. The Soviet Union had allowed me to notify her of my job regarding Russian political and intelligence affairs, but that was all she knew about my career.


It was only when my wife discovered she was pregnant.


When she told me the news over dinner, I was elated! I had been an assassin, one who took lives, even if these lives were taken for the good of my country. It seemed impossible that I could give life.


I had not realized that the KGB had bugged my home. We live in a one-bedroom apartment in Moscow owned by the KGB. We were constantly being watched and heard. Secrets were unheard of in my household.


When I arrived at work the next day, my bosses confronted me.
"Abort the baby," they said. My was was frantic. She kept screaming her head off that I should not work for the KGB anymore if we were to lose the baby over it.


I loved my wife.
I had no choice but to agree.


It was terrible. But I had to give up my career. I had to resign.


KGB was horrified. I was one of their most valued agents, and I could not simply walk off on the job if I desired. They tried to calm me down, and even stated that they would not push me on the street even if I quit. I'd still be paid my previous salary of 2500 rubles until I found work (aka retake my post as Soviet espionage and intelligence agent.)


It wasn't long before I cracked. My wife was being kept in Moscow. I was deported to East Berlin. The desire to see my wife again was overwhelming. It was horrible. My wife delivered our beautiful child into the world while we were away from each other. But I was so grateful that both my wife and my child were safe.


My gratitude was useless. A few days after my child was born, my wife left him with a neighbor. She only wanted to meet me, for we had not seen each other in so long. That night, my son died. Choked to death by the neighbor, who knew nothing about infants, especially newborns.


I never met him.
I'll never see him grow up.
I'll never help him prepare his future.


If there is anything in the world more horrible than realizing your wife and son are in a different country, it is that your son has died in that country.


If there is anything in the world more dangerous than the work of a Soviet spy, it is the role of a retired spy.


Hence, I took my job back. I emersed myself in my work to forget my grief. I enrolled in courses at the Institute of Foreign Languages in KGB to perfect my mastery of Western language, culture, and accent. Everything had to be perfect for my next job: kill Yaroslav Stetsko.

But soon after plans were made to assassinate Stetsko, the mission was called off. 

I was forced into isolation. I rarely saw my wife. 
Then I realized it. I was not a valued agent at KGB.

I was merely there tool.

It was then that my wife and I made plans to escape to the West. 

It was then that my wife discovered I was Bohdan Stashynsky, former espionage and intelligence agent for the Secret Police of Russia. I was not Joseph Leman. I was a ruthless assassin who heartlessly killed two political figures because my superiors ordered me to. 

Inge was horrified. So much so that she demanded that I confess my crimes to the U.S. Embassy. 

I do not regret what I've done. It was for the best of my country. But I love my wife more. And it was for her that I picked up the phone, and made the call that changed my life.

I am now a dishonored husband.
I am now a traitor to the KGB. 
I am now in prison, awaiting trial.

This is the life of an espionage agent.
This is the life of a professional assassin.
This is the life of a secret intelligence informer.
This is the life of an ex-KGB member.
This is the life of Bohdan Stashynsky.

Confessions: Log 5 - end

- Bohdan Stashynsky